Random Musings · Weight loss journey

I’m a Woman so OBVIOUSLY I Don’t Know ANYTHING about Weightlifting

I hope you could tell immediately that the title of this post is completely sarcastic. Because it is.

I don’t know if I should be offended or amused. I’ll let you decide. So today I went to a sporting goods store to look for an Olympic weightlifting bar. I’ve done Crossfit for about 5 years now, off and on, so I’m pretty familiar with a bar and weights. I already own metal plates but I prefer bumper plates because you can drop them on the ground unlike with metal plates. I needed a new Olympic bar to go with the bumper plates I bought last week. So anyway, I’m in the store and I’m looking around and all I see are the smaller, thinner bars that you can only use metal plates with. However, I see an Olympic bar on display so I just figured maybe they had some more in the back. I flag down an associate and this musclebound guy comes over. I tell him what I need and he points to the thinner bar for metal plates. I say again, no I need an Olympic bar for bumper plates. His eyebrows raise up. Almost like he’s surprised that I know what bumper plates are. I make a note of the Dwayne Johnson aka The Rock eyebrow lift he just gave me but I let it go. But then he messes up. He says “oh you shouldn’t need an Olympic bar. They can be heavy. You’ll probably only need this bar (pointing to the thinner, smaller bar again) for what you’ll be doing.”

Errrrrrrrr. Come again? Say what now?? Excuse the crap out of me?! Did this dude just point me to the smaller bar like I’m a child being excused to the little kid table?!?!

Relax, Relate, Release. Hold my mule, Lord. Jesus take the wheel. Jesus be a fence. 3-2-1, 1-2-3, what the heck is bothering me. Wooooo-saaaaaaaa.

So after I take a nice calming deep breath, I start thinking about it a little more. I couldn’t tell if he thought because I was a woman, I was so weak and inexperienced that I couldn’t possibly lift a big ol’ weight bar. I might break a nail or even worse, break a sweat! Or did he look at me being pleasantly plump and assume my roly poly behind couldn’t possibly have the strength or endurance to actually lift weights??? Either way, he sucks.

Part of me was amused because he just doesn’t know. He doesn’t know that this weak little woman that’s also pleasantly plump can deadlift 330 lbs, squat almost 230 lbs, and can strict press 110 lbs. While I could have thrown all my stats out to him, I didn’t because it might have exploded his wee little brain.

(Of course, these stats are pre-baby when I was She-Woman Hear Me Roar and worked out all the time and ate spinach and grass-fed meat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I couldn’t lift those weights now if you paid me to but he didn’t know that! Hmph!)

So I just smiled like the good little woman I was, walked over to the 45 lb bumper plates, picked one up in each hand, and said, “no, I really don’t think that 15 lb bar will hold what I can and will be lifting.” Was that a bit snarky of me? Oh well.

He did have the grace to laugh at himself a little and say, “well, guess you’ll be needing that Olympic bar after all.”

That’s what I thought. Sucka.

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